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"No brake should be applied to passion ; when the appetites speak, they must be heard."
Marquis DeSade
littlewicked March 13th 1967 (Age 42) Female Nebraska
I am a 41 year old female, of average appearance I believe. I have a pretty open mind about most things and try to do my best to constantly further my knowledge about everything I can, including myself.
I find myself alone at this point in my life raising a son by myself, but believe it is better this way for him and when he is 18, my life will begin again. I do date rarely but my romantic life does not cross with my son's life, which means my boy will never meet the "boyfriends on parade" when they come about.
I prefer the kink side when it comes to my romantic life, I do not enjoy vanilla life as it were. I was married for 11 years, it did not end nicely but needed to end. Now I have learned to adore life in the simplest ways. I love the tactile sensations involved in kink, the discussion of options and knowing I have pleased the One I wish to be with.
I have had a few men in my life but only 2 really ring true in my heart. One was my first true love but lost track of later in life. The other I still speak to once in awhile and still find Him to be the most erotic and delicious Man I have ever met. Physically we were not together long, but in that time I learned more about myself that I ever had in life and I owe that all to Him. I learned that beauty is not in our eyes as women when we look upon ourselves in a mirror, it is reflected in the eyes of those who look upon us and express their pleasure. He probably does not even know I hold Him in such high regard but that is okay as He has His own life now. I can honestly thank Him for realizing what true love really is.
I hope to find more to do in my life and enjoy many normal things like riding on the back of a Harley wrapped around the strong back of a man clad in leather, going on a nice weekend Poker Run, the wind rushing thru my hair, playing a good game of pool or darts with a few good friends, and hitting the river boating in the heat with a few beers and buddies. I guess I am more of a tomboy, but do like to dress up once in awhile if given the chance. I have been called a strong woman before, but if truth be told i prefer to sit at the feet of a Dominant Man, to me there is no better place in the world. To feel his fingers in my hair as i lay my head on his thigh, it makes my world perfect.
All in all, I think I try to better myself at any chance, and further my knowledge on myself and life. I am more spiritual than religious and try to help others when I can. I figure if I can do well in this life and leave a good memory in others hearts I have done okay.
The true woman hidden deep inside of me that i allow so few see
"... remember Machiavelli, according to whom it were better to be impetuous than circumspect, because Nature is a woman to be mastered only by Him who goes to her whip in hand."
~ Marquis De Sade~
This is the woman that protects the submissive one within against society's judgement
"Lust's passion will be served ; it demands, it militates, it tyrranizes, it must therefore be appeased, and to its satisfaction all other conditions are totally irrelevant."
~Marquis De Sade~
"Certain souls seem hard because they are capable of strong feelings, and they sometimes go to rather extreme lengths; their apparent unconcern and cruelty are but ways, known only to themselves, of feeling more strongly than others."
~MDS~
"I have supported my deviations with reasons; I did not stop at mere doubt; I have vanquished, I have uprooted, I have destroyed everything in my heart that might have interfered with my pleasure."
~MDS~
"Are you there God? It's me Charlie.......". A loud crack of thunder is heard as a bolt of lightening hits the ground and she realizes...."hmmmm okay maybe you're a bit busy right now."
These last few weeks have flown by, lots of fun, tons of riding, getting to know each other arguing (that part is making me a bit bonkers!!! Just a bit!!) I still can't read my now "live-in" Man so I cant tell the "I have a migraine look", from the "You pissed me off and I am not talking to you" look. My personal brilliance is at an all time low, but on the lighter side I was given permission to go elsewhere to find what I need if He does not suffice...(WTF?????)
I guess the odd part is that when it is good, HOT DAMN is it good!!!! This may well be some of the best sex I have had in years!!!!! Gawd bless this boy!!! So what is my issue??? I do have a 14 year old in the house so that makes the kink part damn near impossible, not to mention he picked the lock on the VCR cabinet which is my own personal toybox. You see my son has decided to trust in my boyfriend far more than he does me now. Thats okay but his mouth and attitude are all me. The other day the boyfriend took my son to storage to work on his other bike, which by the way happens to be the boyfriends first bike ever! Its a honda 350 from about 1970-something and he has kept it in mint condition and wants to give it to my kid (whole 'nother story there). Anyway long story short my brilliant child decides to go thru the boyfriends car and finds a box of condoms. My son picks them up and walks them over to my boyfrend spouting this lovely ditty...."just tell me one thing, do you use these things on my Mom?????" My boyfriend being a fast thinker at times responded "of course I do." So my offspring decides to continue the conversation with "well I sorta figured that cuz I was going thru her room the other day and got into that locked cabinet and found a whole bag of dildos and stuff". FRIGGIN LOVELY! Now keep in mind being my toy cabinet, there were also clover clamps, a ball gag right in front, a quirt, a riding crop, multiple clothes pins,a few butt plugs, about 15 kinds of lube, warming lotions and flavored body stuff, and many many dirty books only to name the right side of the cabinet.
From here on out think I will just duct tape the kid to the wall at times, at least then I will always know where he is at all times and wont be in my room!!! LMAO!!!
He has yet to ask me anything (thank gawd) but I am sure it is coming, I can just hear him now "hey Mom? so whats with that bullet and vibrating cock ring thingie???
loz June 11, 2007 07:59 PM PDT hmm... no, I probably wouldn't have asked but would've just played with them on the sly & secretly bought my own when I had money :D.
maybe it's time to start sneak-searching the kid's room just in case? hahaha, that might be a bit scary!
littlewicked June 6, 2007 10:36 AM PDT trust me the thought is there, and i am waiting for the "questions" or maybe i gave birth to another freak just like me? can you imagine if you found those things in your moms room? Would you have asked her???LMAO
loz June 4, 2007 09:00 AM PDT ah, he's a "live in" man now! interesting :D.
far more interesting, I'm afraid to say, is the whole kid in the toy cabinet thing, hahaha. oh groan! my personal thought is that velcroing him to the wall when necessary would be a lot easier & less expensive in the end too ;).
