Well, now.....I haven't said a whole heck of alot lately and I guess that is sort of because my "real" world has interrupted my writing abilities. Seems I have fallen in a bit of a hole, what with friends going overseas by the boatloads and the personal front is a bit frustrating at the moment. In short One whom I adore truly has too much going on in their life to seem to have much time for me. I am not one to push my way around, I prefer to sit back and see what will be. I do know that no one is ever truly and completely yours, but the thought is a great concept in hopes that the looking would be over, but if shit worked that way we would all have the answers we have quested for all of our lives....by now, don'tcha think?

   Okay not sure why I go all "deep" when I am being challenged by myself of course on my writing but then again I don't really know a whole lot lately. Such is the glorious mind of a very confused and frustrated switch with no constant candy to play with.....lol

Here is one of my favorite songs that explains me very very well, or maybe i just understand it really well.....eithe rway enjoy!

 

   What do you do when you still Love someone you have let out of your life? When you know that everytime you chance to be together you wont be able to help but fall into bed. But you know otherwise you really arent a part of their life anymore and dont know for that matter how much they ever really cared for you. All you know for sure is how much of your heart they live in and what a huge empty hole it feels like when you dont hear from or see them anymore. What do you do when you still wish to feel their flesh against yours but they chose to go another way? A way away from you and you feel as if you no longer have a place in their life? I guess you just enjoy those precious and few moments that life gives you together and try not to be a burden on them or yourself, you try to keep those few little phrases out of your mouth even though your heart feels them so strongly and just go on with your life. Whats worse is sometimes they never even realize how big a part of your life they were in the first place, so when you do have them? Make sure you show them and tell them exactly what they are to you so you dont sit and ask these questions to yourself, all the time......

   I have a tendancy to over analyze things to say the least and began to ponder these odd thoughts in my head. I am trying to define my exact place in this delicious world of mine and frankly I am having a hard time truly defining what I am.  I enjoy so many things I began to question myself as to what was more important to me, what enticed me more, what made my spurs rattle as it were and at this point I cannot decide these answers for myself.
   The questions I have come up with so far which I believe will help me find my way much easier than what I have done thus far, are as follows. Try and answer some of these yourself and if you so choose to share your answers that would be much appreciated as well.

 

1:  Which feeling do you adore more, the anticipation of what is to come when you are bound and blindfolded, hearing the metal and toys clink together and your rapid breath along with footsteps approaching you unsure of what is to befall you at any moment?
   Or....do you prefer the feeling of control when your pet or other such treat is tethered nice and taunt infront of you, their body shaking from a simple breath across their tender unmarked flesh watching them shake with the apprehension of fear as they hear you approach and all you can do is smile with joy at this trust laid bare before you?????

2: Do you enjoy the feeling of the lash or blade kissing your sweat covered body as your head is in a fog from the excitation of what has transpired from One who has gifted you so well with what they know you adore?
   Or....Do you enjoy the veiw as the pet you have tethered before you is still amass with shudders of aftershocks as a gleam of sweat covers their skin, the marks shining bright and red that you have given and their sweet eyes clouded with a smile as they whisper thanks for such gifts you have bestowed?

3: Do you prefer to take pride in the dedicated service you choose to endow on the One you adore and admire so much, reveling in the simple smile that lets you know you have done well and hopefully will be paid in satiated desires met and gasps of heated breath as you kiss the foot of your chosen One in thanks for all the needs they have chosen to fulfill and reward you with?  Or.........Do you prefer to take pride in the tasty lines of swollen angry flesh and slight trickles of blood from your lash or crop that you may have lapped from the skin, the heated hand prints you have laid upon a willing ass cheek, and the depth of talent that you may wield a blade or even a simple flick of the tongue in the right place at the right time making their body shudder of its own accord, all things you have been begged for in the start and multiple thanks given thru gasps as they attempt to swallow once again feeling their mind full blown wide open and drifting?

 

   Being that I can understand both sides of this coin it is hard to place a "name" as it were to what position that I do hold at times in different relationships.  I may find myself extremely driven to Top a Man deliciously with each little trick of mine helping to push his passions over the edge as I watch his senses begin to heighten and his hunger multiply right before my eyes, at times it even seems as if I wish to gift some with the desires that I may have on my submissive side as in trying things i enjoy on them.  This can also backfire on me at times since I am one for extremes and there are times my desires have overridden my minds basic instinct to preserve myself in tact as it were. I have also attempted to show some my favorite things and was greeted with a fear in the eyes that I deeply regret now not previously knowing that the one laid before me may have a serious aversion to needles or for that matter have a fear of knives. I guess sometimes I just don't think and assume that since I am so far past the norm maybe there is a hope in me somewhere I may one day find a playmate I could honestly switch with.
   There have been times I have chosen for the right feelings to sub to certain yet very very few and wanted nothing more than to feel their fingers run thru my hair as a way for them to let me know I have done good in their eyes as I nuzzle my face against the inside of a thigh enjoying my place at their feet. I can also find great joy in being allowed to sit at ones feet but it must be a certain type of man for I rarely sit at anyones feet. I have not run into more than maybe three in my whole lifetime yet I do hope to find more but for now? I am quite content to watch the world thru a paisley hourglass and read about it thru pretty words and simply try and figure out me. This leaves me still in a crux and pondering my two original questions, of course. Where is my place in this decadent world of fun and am I more Top than bottom??? More submissive than Dominant? These are quite difficult questions to answer for me and I do hope to find at least one answer out of two, that would at least be fifty fifty. So where do you fit in this world?????

   To those loyal readers if there are any of them at all I do apologize for not adding anything lately. It seems that it has taken a bit more taste testing and experimenting than I had previously thought to write another piece of work for here.

   First of all there was the problem getting stuck in bed and not wanting to leave a deliciously tattooed piece of flesh with a nice hard belly and body reactions that could make any girl cream her jeans if there were any on the bottom half of me at the time. The sweetest biteable nicely rounded ass and let me tell you this boy definately has some talent and could be taught how to do wonderful things with a crop should he return from service wishing for any lessons at my hand. Actually I would be hungry for a simple bite of that yummie ass, or belly, or neck gawd I adore his neck!!!

   Nothing finer than a man who knows how to shave because frankly if I wanted to floss my teeth at that exact moment I would have brought dental floss to bed with me! When I am going south on a man I only wanna gag on one thing and I can promise you it is NOT a hair at the back of my throat!!!! Not to mention sounding like a cat desperately hacking up a hairball is also NOT a good thing to have happen when trying to act sexy! Now dont be offended with me because anyone who has had sex has had it happen at least once, at least I said it out in the open so you all didn't have to! So there!!!

   Now back to the munchies I have enjoyed thus far, lets just say I am a lucky lucky girl lately and will never forget the shivers and gasps I learned to bring forth from his body. Each body of flesh brings a new learning experience and I suggest you all enjoy each and every one be they one or many more. Each person has their own gifts they bring to the table as you lock them down and stretch them taunt seeing their body writhe with anticipation as you simply blow a warm breath across their skin and watch their nipples harden. Okay so maybe I have been getting into this fun just a bit too much lately but honestly if you got to see what I have been gifted with these last few months you would be smiling just as wide as I am. Enjoy life people, it's all in your hands!!!! Just like I enjoy what happens to fall into mine!!!!